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shortficsTitle: Night Of The Bunnies
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Characters/Pairings: Buffy, Giles, Willow, Oz, Xander, Angel, Joyce.
Rating: PG
Words: 2315
Notes: Sunnydale’s bunnies are revolting; Buffy and her friends need to figure out what’s going on and put a stop to it. Set mid-Season Three.
“This isn’t like that whole dead cat thing, with the creepy mask and all the zombies, is it?” Buffy demanded. “’Cause I’m SO not going there again. Once was more than enough.”
“Oh, ah, to be honest I’m not really sure what it is.” Giles took his glasses off, polished them, and put them back on. “Your mother isn’t having another exhibit of native tribal art at the gallery, is she?”
“Not that I’ve heard.”
“Then it’s probably not that. It must be something… else.”
“That doesn’t exactly narrow the field, Giles. There’s a lot of something elses around here; pick one.”
“If only it were that simple. I can’t just open a book at random and point to something. This matter will have to be properly researched and that, unfortunately, takes time. We don’t have a lot to go on so far.”
“But it’s bunnies!” Willow cried. “Poor cute little innocent fluffy bunnies!”
“Not so innocent, from what I’ve heard so far. Quite the opposite in fact, if the reports are to be believed.” Giles smiled apologetically and polished his glasses again.
“Keep that up and you’ll wear them away completely.”
“What?” Giles threw a startled look at his Slayer.
“Your glasses.” Buffy pointed.
Giles hurriedly replaced them. “Oh, yes, quite. Very amusing.”
Buffy turned to her best friend. “Don’t worry, Will; we’ll get to the bottom of this whatever it is and save all the bunnies, or most of them anyway.”
“The ones that still have all their little bunny bits attached at least,” Xander added helpfully.
Willow made a tiny sound of distress and buried her face against Oz’s shoulder.
“This might be the one time it’s not such a good thing that bunnies can take care of themselves,” he mused, rubbing Willow’s back.
“What did bunnies ever do to anyone? This is just so wrong!”
“You’ve got that right,” Buffy agreed. “And you didn’t even see them.”
“I don’t WANT to see them!” Willow burrowed deeper into Oz’s embrace.
“I could use a few gallons of brain bleach myself.” Buffy shuddered. “Some things you just can’t un-see.”
Buffy had come across the first bunnies while out on patrol in Shady Pines, one if Sunnydale’s twelve cemeteries, where they were feasting on a decaying corpse they’d apparently unearthed from a nearby grave. That had NOT been a pretty sight.
“And you’re quite these, uh, bunnies are not merely rabid?”
“Giles, not even rabid bunnies are gonna eat dead people. Trust me on this.”
“She’s right; bunnies are strict vegetarians,” Oz agreed.
“The regular kind, anyway,” Xander added.
“It was definitely a human corpse they were…?”
“I didn’t get too close, but it looked human to me. It was wearing clothes. Mostly. It was pretty gross, not a fresh kill.”
“Can I just say, EW?”
“Quiet please, Xander. Now, how many of these… creatures do you think there might be, Buffy? Did you manage to count them?” Giles was doing his level best to keep everyone on track, never the easiest task.
“You mean before I ran for my life? Five that I saw, but there could’ve been more around the other side of the corpse out of sight, or in burrows, and didn’t you say something about getting reports?”
“Yes, from some contacts around town. Several were seen eating the body of a fox by the side of the road, presumably after it had been run over and killed, and a woman out walking her dog was attacked by a pack of… well, creatures resembling rabbits but displaying very unusual behaviour. Her dog was petrified.”
“They turned it to stone?” Once again Xander managed to grasp the wrong end of the stick.
“No, they just scared it. Apparently it ran for home with its tail between its legs and now it won’t leave the house.”
“Oh. Well, some of the small breeds are very highly strung. I once scared my neighbour’s Chihuahua by shouting ‘BOO’ at it through the fence. Hasn’t yapped at me since.”
“This was a Rottweiler, Xander.”
Giles had a way of making Xander feel about two inches tall. “You couldn’t have just said that to start with?”
Oz nodded slowly. “Not much scares those, it’s true. These bunnies must be something else.”
“Maybe they’re possessed. You know, by hyenas or something.” Xander was determined to contribute to this discussion in some way that didn’t make him look like a complete idiot, and this time it looked like he might have succeeded.
“Possession of some description is certainly a possibility, although I’m not sure how that would account for their… appearance.”
“Poor bunnies, random bits just dropping off. Nothing deserves that fate.” Buffy pulled a face. “Maybe whatever’s possessing them is killing them bit by bit. Too much for their little bunny bodies to cope with.”
“Perhaps. It does at least give us another avenue for research. Xander, since it was your idea, you can start researching demons with the ability to possess other creatures. Willow, you and Oz look into shape shifters. These creatures may not be, ah, bunnies at all in the literal sense.”
“We can do that.” Willow headed towards the bookshelves, Oz in tow. “But what about you?”
“I believe that leaves me with zombies and the rituals involved in their creation.” Giles smiled tightly.
“Saving the best topics for yourself again?” Buffy teased.
“I rather think the opposite is true in this case.”
“Mm, you may have a point. So what d’you want me to do? No, don’t tell me; I should get back out there and patrol, maybe try and get you one of the bunnies for study. Oh joy, this night just keeps on getting better and better! Solo decaying bunny wrangler is not something I ever wanted on my résumé.”
“There’s a point; maybe Angel could help you.”
“Yes, because nothing is more romantic than chasing zombified bunnies around a cemetery. The fun just never stops.”
“You should return to where you encountered the first ones.”
“I just knew you were going to say that. Fine, Shady Pines it is. I’m gone. Just find out what’s doing this and tell me how to stop it, okay?”
“We’ll do our best, just… be careful not to get bitten. We don’t know whether this… whatever it is, can be passed on in some way.”
“Anyone know where I can get a suit of armour?” Not waiting for an answer, Buffy left the library to go back out on patrol. Sunnydale just never got any less weird.
OoOoOoO
Swinging by the mansion, Buffy roped Angel in to assist, not that he took much persuading.
“Zombie rabbits?”
“I know, right? Just when you think you’ve heard it all.”
“But they might not be rabbits.”
“Giles isn’t sure. They could be shape shifters, or they might be possessed, or…”
“Zombies.”
“Yeah. And you know the worst part? I have no idea which option to hope for. I mean if they’re shape shifters they might take on a different shape; maybe they already have, and then how am I supposed to find them? If they’re possessed, how do you perform an exorcism on a rabbit, and would we have to do one at a time or all at once? And if they’re zombies…” She trailed off, catching the expression on Angel’s face. “What?”
“You’re beautiful in the moonlight. The way it catches your hair. Sometimes I forget, and then I see you again and it’s like I’m seeing you for the first time, all over again.” Angel shook his head, getting back to business. “Okay, so Giles wants us to get one of these rabbits to study?”
“If we can, without putting ourselves in danger. Aside from that, try to figure out how many we’re dealing with. So far it could be as many as three separate packs, or possibly more. Whatever’s causing it might be spreading. We’re supposed to see if we can locate the source of the problem while the others do research and try to figure out a solution. Busy night all round.”
Buffy led the way back to where she’d seen the first zombie rabbits. The corpse they’d been eating was still there, or what was left of it, which was little more than a few tatters of clothing and a pile of gnawed bones, but the rabbits were gone.
Shady Pines was home to a thriving rabbit colony, situated as it was on the edge of woodland. The rabbits kept the grass around the headstones short so the groundskeepers had given up trying to get rid of them. Aside from eating some of the floral tributes they didn’t do any serious harm. Or they hadn’t before now. Usually they’d be everywhere, nibbling away in the moonlight. Tonight, however, there wasn’t a rabbit, zombie or otherwise, in sight.
“D’you think all the local rabbits have been changed?”
“I don’t know, but I hope not.” Angel scanned the area, his vampire night vision even better than Buffy’s. She noticed him sniffing the air too.
“Smell something?”
“Decay.”
“Well duh. It’s a cemetery. Plus, decaying corpse. Bits of one anyway.”
“No, not that one. Something else.”
“They’ve dug up another body? Oh, lovely. My life is a never-ending thrill ride. Lead the way.”
Angel smiled slightly. “I can go look if you’d rather skip this one.”
“I’m a big Slayer; I can handle it. You’ve seen one decaying corpse you’ve seem ‘em all.”
Buffy followed Angel to the furthest corner of the cemetery, where as before a very ripe corpse had been unearthed from its final resting place and was being devoured by at least two dozen rabbits in various states of decay.
“I count twenty-seven of them.”
“That’s a lot more than there were before.” Buffy frowned at the bunnies. “Flesh-eating bunnies; this is just a world of wrong!”
A bunny turned towards them, it’s eyes glowing red. It only had one ear, and clumps of its fur were missing. It shifted, began crawling towards them, one hind leg dragging behind. Several other rabbits began to register their presence, turning slowly towards them.
“I don’t like the way they’re looking at us; we should probably get out of here,” Angel decided.
“We really should.”
Turning back the way they’d come, they found their escape blocked by more of the bunnies.
Angel grabbed Buffy by the hand. “The woods! We can cut through to the mansion and then into town from there.”
“Good idea.”
They ran, uphill, putting as much distance between themselves and their pursuers as they could. For creatures that were literally falling apart, the bunnies were quite nimble, at least the ones that still had enough legs and the ability to hop were.
It was a good thing they could both see well in the darkness because the ground was littered with rocks, tree roots, and rabbit holes; the hillside was the site of one of the larger warrens in the area, although at present none of the residents appeared to be home, probably because they were all out digging up dead bodies to eat.
Halfway to the top, Buffy stopped beside an odd rock formation.
“I recognise this. I killed a demon here a few months back, a really ugly thing. Buried it in the soft ground by this rock.”
Angel looked thoughtful. “Dead demon, buried, starts to rot, seeps into the ground above the rabbit warren…”
“The bunnies dig, groom themselves and each other, maybe absorb rotting demon juice, and… Zombie bunnies?”
“It’s a theory.” Glancing back the way they’d come, Angel grabbed Buffy’s hand again. “Keep going; they’re gaining on us.”
“Never imagined I’d be running away from bunnies! Aren’t rabbit’s feet supposed to be lucky?”
“Only for the rabbit.”
“Right.”
OoOoOoO
Back at the library, Giles listened.
“A demon, yes, do you remember which one?”
“Pink eyes, warty yellow skin, bad breath. Oh, and it had these little tentacle things around its mouth. Never going to win a beauty pageant.”
“Quite. That sounds like a Caymor demon. Carrion eaters usually, the tentacles detect the scent of decay.” Giles paused, deep in thought. Yes, that makes an unpleasant kind of sense.”
Xander slammed shut the book he’d been going through. “So the bunnies have been infected with demon ick?”
“I suppose that’s one way of putting it.”
“So what do we do, how do we cure them? Can they be cured?”
“Well, we must neutralise the demon’s remains for a start.”
“What with? Demon deodoriser?”
Giles turned a withering look on Xander. “I suggest salt, sulphur, and betony.”
“Oooh, goody, potion time!” Willow perked right up.
Buffy gave her friend a look. “At least someone’s enjoying this. What about the rabbits?”
“I really don’t know. With the remains neutralised they’ll probably die.”
“Poor bunnies,” Buffy sighed. “Are they likely to infect whatever eats them?”
“If you make enough of this potion I can track down the infected rabbits and neutralise them as well,” Angel offered
“Thank you. That would seem to be our best course of action then. Let’s get to it!”
OoOoOoO
Buffy trailed into her house just in time for breakfast, glad it was the weekend and she didn’t have to rush off to school.
Her mother looked up from the morning paper. “You’re up early. Or was it a late night?”
“Late. Very late. Patrol was… You don’t want to know. The things we had to do. I need a shower, preferably with a scrubbing brush and a whole bottle of… Have we got any of that tea tree body wash? That’s antibacterial, right?”
“There should be some in the cupboard.”
“Great. I feel like I’ll never be clean again.”
“What were you doing? No, forget I asked. You’re right; I don’t want to know.”
“Wise decision.”
Trailing up the stairs, Buffy shook her head. “Forget Night of the Living Dead; Night of the Zombie Bunnies was WAY worse.”
The End
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Date: Nov. 9th, 2020 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Nov. 9th, 2020 09:20 pm (UTC)Glad you enjoyed it!